Waste of Space

I know I know. I've already written once today. And I've already written a few sentences about this thought, but I feel like venting, and hey it's my blog that no one reads anyway. I don't know if I'm really suppose to be here at Grace. This is a kinda bad question since I'm about to be interviewed for Growth Group leader in about 2 hours. Yeah. And don't get me wrong, if I come back, which I probably will, I want to be a GGL.
It's just everything about Grace. I feel like I'm not growing at all. I feel very stagnate and useless. I don't know what I'm doing with my life right now, and I seem to be in a very serious haze. Like I'm just jumping at the bit, ready to get started with my life, ready to make a difference, and I'm stuck here.
I don't really know if I'm sure about my major anymore. I mean sure, nursing looks good. Reminds me of a song I wrote once; there's this line that says "Only looks good on paper, kinda like foreign labor." I think that's what nursing is for me. Sure, it looks like I would be good at it and I would make good money. Good job. Job security. What more could I want? Yeah, exactly. I think those were my thoughts when I started going to school at Mount Vernon, a decision that would lead to my downfall. It was a great academic idea, then I got lonely, and ended up dating one of the worst guys I could have every dated. So that was a great time. Yeah.
Also, what impact do I have on the world right now? I guess I just thought about how much trash I generate. It's really very ridiculous. I don't recycle much. Just throw away trash. Take up the worlds supply of food and water and trash and clothing and electronic products. Take up air and stuff. But what is my contribution? I don't know. That's the problem. I want to make a contribution. And I can't like this.